Silly Putty

i molded myself into what you wanted me to be.

i changed myself to be palatable and likeable for you, until i was diluted.

i handed myself over like a lump of clay. like silly putty.

i let myself be shaped,
smoothed,
flattened,
kneaded,
stretched,
poked,
grabbed,
thrown,
bounced,
smooshed.

pieces of myself taken, until i was small.

i was a pitiful golem in your image.

i thought it was what i deserved.

but now i see;

it was silly to think that it would ever be enough for you.

new years resolutions

im looking forward to 2025 being over.

i want to have a cozy christmas n a hopeful new year.

i thought i would preemptively write out some new years resolutions to work towards for myself:

• read 35 books


• learn piano


• improve my singing just for fun


• code art portfolio website


• post more art online


• move!!!


• go on a trip to the pacific northwest


• quit unhealthy habits


• grow hair out for real this time


• take weekly dance classes


• be kinder to myself

guna spend the rest of this month playing skyrim with christmas mods on, spending time w people who care about me, n trying to decompress n not totally n completely crash out :o)

best of luck to everyone struggling out there, may 2026 be kinder to us all.