33ri3

i molded myself into what you wanted me to be.

i changed myself to be palatable and likeable for you, until i was diluted.

i handed myself over like a lump of clay. like silly putty.

i let myself be shaped,
smoothed,
flattened,
kneaded,
stretched,
poked,
grabbed,
thrown,
bounced,
smooshed.

pieces of myself taken, until i was small.

i was a pitiful golem in your image.

i thought it was what i deserved.

but now i see;

it was silly to think that it would ever be enough for you.

Current Mood: drained
Current Location: a red egg
Current Music: will post sketch later im sleepy

shrouded in the dark, fallen into the void, wings clipped

there is only two things left to do

stay rooted in this cold place and let the vast shadows engulf you until you're consumed

or fight with everything you have left and claw your way out back towards the light

doesn't matter how you lost your flight and crashed landed in this place

it happened, it hurt, and you will carry the scars with you always

but remember the warmth from the sun on your skin

remember the wind whipping through your hair, ruffling your feathers

remember the vibrant colors of the landscapes and endless sky around you

remember how those moments felt

those moments were worth it

the climb won't be easy

you will slip, cut your hands, bruise your knees, sweat and bleed and cry

but the more you fight, the more you climb

the bigger the light at the end will grow

you never truly know how long the climb will be

the light at the end could take on a different shape and form from memory or expectation

the uncertainty can be scary, but once you reach the end, no matter how different the world is around you

what you can be certain of is that regardless of the cards you were dealt, you tried your best, even if it hadn't always felt enough

when you finally heave yourself out with the last of your strength

feel the stable ground underneath your feet

inhale the fresh atmosphere

bask in the newfound light

regrow and unfurl your wings

a new flight begins

Current Mood: hopeful

i used to know all of you

inside and out

now i barely recognize you

do you?

do you know who you were?

who you've become?

perhaps you were stolen from me

switched away in the night

i tried to find you

bring you back

you were perfect to me

now that person doesn't exist

all that remains

is the Changeling

Current Mood: tired

too much, always too much

they bubble up from my core, acid burning a hole right through me

sadness becomes depression
frustration becomes anger
anxiety becomes fear
confusion becomes disorientation
heartbreak becomes grief

it's easy to hate it, easier to wallow in it,
and just as easy to wish i didn't feel anything at all

but its not all bad,
the Big Feelings

they explode in my chest, setting my heart ablaze

happiness becomes euphoria
comfort becomes solace
interest becomes passion
excitement becomes exhilaration
love becomes enraptured ecstasy

the fire is better than the void

at least i know i'm alive

at least i know i care

at least i know im human